SECTION 2
KAKUSEI [AWAKENING]

2. Genkai o Shitta Baiku Jikou
[A Motorcycle Accident That Showed Me My Limits]

My father was a fickle person. The first time he taught me to drive was when I was 12. It wasn't an automatic transmission; it was manual. He said that it wouldn't be proper if I didn't know how to drive, so he taught me from the passenger seat.

The first time I rode a motorcycle, I had already gained all the knowledge of how to do so, and where the clutch and the accelerator were, so I was able to ride. At first, I rode really slowly. I think I was about 17.

The bike I learned to ride on was a Yamaha RZ250. Though it was a 250, it was a big bike and wasn't an unfavorable comparison to the 400. Because there were 2 pistons, it had great acceleration. It was really fast. If I had learned on another bike, I don't think I would have liked it as much.

The way I rode was really dangerous. I think it's very strange that I never died. Going 70-80 kph, while passing the car in front of me on the left, I would suddenly get caught on a sudden curve between a telephone pole and the car. However, I rarely ever had an accident.

Then one day, I quit riding my motorcycle.

On that day, because it had rained the day before, there was a lot of sand on the road. However, I was riding along dangerously as usual, and on a particularly hard corner, my tires suddenly slipped. My bike and I both went sliding.

It was the curb on the right side. I could see a concrete wall just in front of me. As the wall approached, I knew.

I'm going to die!

In an instant, I let go of the bike, and it kept going straight ahead towards the wall. The front and back wheels got caught in the ditch in front of the wall, and the bike flew up in the air and started coming back towards me. I could see the bike coming over my head. Immediately after that, the bike slammed down into the road, seriously damaged. There was nothing left of the frame or anything else.

My right arm was injured. The asphalt really tore it up, and though I scraped it off with a knife, I still have the scars [see #1 note].

I stopped riding motorcycles. It was because I realized my limits.

So then after that, I turned to cars. I've had a total of 10 cars.

My first car was a Toyota Toreno. Called an "86," it was a famous car with the car clubs. It was the car of the guy from the "Initial D" manga.

Though I was driving a car now, I didn't change my dangerous driving ways. They often had to call the ambulance for me. Once, they had to call a fire truck because my car was on fire.

The end of my dangerous driving habits was the same as my bike. I crashed into something, and my car spun around and around. It turned upside down and crashed into the road surface, still spinning, and was half destroyed. I often wonder now how I survived.

I crawled out from under the car, making sure first of all that I was actually still alive. Then viewing my half-destroyed car, I absentmindedly started smoking.

Then I called my ex-girlfriend. Because I'd really been in love with this girl, I'd gone driving carelessly. Though we still both had feelings for each other, we had to break up.

She started crying and screaming on the phone.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

When I heard her voice, I realized for the first time. What the hell was I doing, making her cry? I was ashamed.

After that, I stopped driving recklessly. That was the last time I ever drove dangerously.

Because I wanted to see through to the other side of death, I was unbelievably reckless. However, in the end, I wasn't able to see anything.

Many of my friends have died. They wanted to live and they died, but I, who wanted to see what it was like to die, am still alive. I just couldn't bear to see that.